Doing Life Naked
Ok... that may have provoked some extreme mental imagery, but before you leave a hostile comment, hear me out on this one...
Have you ever realized how so much of our life has to do with perception?? Lately, I've been realizing the power behind the concept that "perception is reality." Wall Street understands it, marketing professionals understand it, and deep down I think socially, we all know this as well.
For instance, when you really connect with a new person in your life, there's this kind of "magic" to the friendship. But then after a couple months, or sometimes years, you think "they aren't the same person." Its like our image of who they were was built on perceptions (who we thought they were), and as we spend more time with them, and *really* get to know them (especially their imperfections), our perceptions are replaced with reality.
This is the point in many relationships, where people often say "you've changed" and back away. But the truth is, our perceptions weren't truth. Its like our subconscious filled those unknown spots (of who they are) with thoughts of who we wish they were; we kind of saw them through this filter of ourselves.
Once reality has dissolved that image of them that we really liked, we're not only frustrated that they aren't who we thought they were; but I think deep down, if we have the guts to admit it, it also makes us a little nervous about how people see us. "I hope I can maintain this image that they have of me," "I hope I don't disappoint them!" Do you ever feel that... the pressure to maintain a certain image??? That feeling that if people really knew what you were like, they would walk away.
But the truth is, I think we all long to really be known... and understood... and still accepted (despite our imperfections).
I have a handful of relationships where I feel like the other person's image of me is reality (not just perceptions) because they have seen the ugliest sides of my personality... and strangely enough, they haven't walked away. In a culture of unfaithfulness, and flippant relationships, it feels so good to be enveloped in loyalty-- not having to fear that if my weaknesses are exposed, I will be rejected. Instead my weaknesses will "dissolve on the white oceans of their loyalty;" and I am then free to be nakedly honest about who I am.
Don't you think we all wish we could bring down the defense systems, and be truly honest about who we are... without fear of rejection. I really believe that "perfect love casts out fear" especially this kind of fear.
I have this dream of being part of a community of people who treat each other with this deep and delicate respect (believing how they treat the person next to them = how they treat Christ himself). Oh sure, there is still weaknesses and inadequacies in each person, but when we see the other's "holes" we respond by wanting to fill them (either with our strengths, or in helping them fill it).
Its like being a part of each other's process to become more like Christ. In any case, its always motivated by our love for each other; and if your strength fills my weaknesses (and visa versa), our lives kind of weave in and out of each others.
So when I say let's "do life naked" what I really mean is, let's strip ourselves of all the defense systems, the misunderstandings, our need to be better than each other, the games we play, and our fears. Let's see each other transparently: everyone unique, in the naked, shimmering essence of who they really are. And let's love each other deeply and purely--graceful with each other's imperfections, because ours are just as exposed.
Dom Helder Cama once said,
“When we dream alone, it is only a dream.
When we dream together, it is the beginning of reality.”
So that's my dream, to collectively create a culture where no one feels like they have to hide; to live life fearlessly and nakedly.... (even though we're physically clothed). ;)
ps. Donald Miller has some excellent insight into what our nakedness originally meant. If you haven't read it yet, you've really got to read "Searching for God Knows What".
Have you ever realized how so much of our life has to do with perception?? Lately, I've been realizing the power behind the concept that "perception is reality." Wall Street understands it, marketing professionals understand it, and deep down I think socially, we all know this as well.
For instance, when you really connect with a new person in your life, there's this kind of "magic" to the friendship. But then after a couple months, or sometimes years, you think "they aren't the same person." Its like our image of who they were was built on perceptions (who we thought they were), and as we spend more time with them, and *really* get to know them (especially their imperfections), our perceptions are replaced with reality.
This is the point in many relationships, where people often say "you've changed" and back away. But the truth is, our perceptions weren't truth. Its like our subconscious filled those unknown spots (of who they are) with thoughts of who we wish they were; we kind of saw them through this filter of ourselves.
Once reality has dissolved that image of them that we really liked, we're not only frustrated that they aren't who we thought they were; but I think deep down, if we have the guts to admit it, it also makes us a little nervous about how people see us. "I hope I can maintain this image that they have of me," "I hope I don't disappoint them!" Do you ever feel that... the pressure to maintain a certain image??? That feeling that if people really knew what you were like, they would walk away.
But the truth is, I think we all long to really be known... and understood... and still accepted (despite our imperfections).
I have a handful of relationships where I feel like the other person's image of me is reality (not just perceptions) because they have seen the ugliest sides of my personality... and strangely enough, they haven't walked away. In a culture of unfaithfulness, and flippant relationships, it feels so good to be enveloped in loyalty-- not having to fear that if my weaknesses are exposed, I will be rejected. Instead my weaknesses will "dissolve on the white oceans of their loyalty;" and I am then free to be nakedly honest about who I am.
Don't you think we all wish we could bring down the defense systems, and be truly honest about who we are... without fear of rejection. I really believe that "perfect love casts out fear" especially this kind of fear.
I have this dream of being part of a community of people who treat each other with this deep and delicate respect (believing how they treat the person next to them = how they treat Christ himself). Oh sure, there is still weaknesses and inadequacies in each person, but when we see the other's "holes" we respond by wanting to fill them (either with our strengths, or in helping them fill it).
Its like being a part of each other's process to become more like Christ. In any case, its always motivated by our love for each other; and if your strength fills my weaknesses (and visa versa), our lives kind of weave in and out of each others.
So when I say let's "do life naked" what I really mean is, let's strip ourselves of all the defense systems, the misunderstandings, our need to be better than each other, the games we play, and our fears. Let's see each other transparently: everyone unique, in the naked, shimmering essence of who they really are. And let's love each other deeply and purely--graceful with each other's imperfections, because ours are just as exposed.
Dom Helder Cama once said,
“When we dream alone, it is only a dream.
When we dream together, it is the beginning of reality.”
So that's my dream, to collectively create a culture where no one feels like they have to hide; to live life fearlessly and nakedly.... (even though we're physically clothed). ;)
ps. Donald Miller has some excellent insight into what our nakedness originally meant. If you haven't read it yet, you've really got to read "Searching for God Knows What".
posted by cindi at 9:53 PM
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