never leaving...

This has been an incredible week of dialogue (one on one, in small groups, in the blogosphere, and in my 'secret places'). The kind where all the thoughts and conversations seem to be in harmony with each other.

First off, I haven't been able to stop thinking about these ideas of how we view things in boxes. As Joshua observes, "i drive around in a box. i live in a huge box that has little boxes within the greater box. i watch television shows on a box. right now I'm staring into a small box.... we like putting God into our neat, little boxes." And as I was soaking in those thoughts this week, I also realized how much we put each other in boxes.

We analyze, and even judge each other; then mentally put them in these boxes (intellectuals, tech-geeks, frat-boys, emo). We even get more personal, and analyze each other's personality/character, almost as if they are never going to grow out of it (high-maintenance, cynical, flakey, spineless, self-absorbed, etc.) We especially do this in the church. We box in whole groups of people (traditional, emergent, catholic, protestant, charismatic, not to mention the thousands of denominations).

I guess I've been thinking about this a lot this week, because its so painful to watch misunderstandings, conflict, and relational pain happen in the church. In fact, I just met a woman tonight at a banquet who grew up in Argentina (because her parents were missionaries). When I asked her if she liked growing up a "PK", the first thing she said was, "you know there's a lot of pain that happens in the church.... but my parents were really good at showing us the difference between the Spirit of Christ and the politics of the church."

And it made me think about what Joshua continued to say: that even though we view the world in boxes, its really fluid, organic, seasonal.... he said,

"love goes through good seasons. bad seasons.
seasons of wealth and poverty. of joy and sorrow.
of frustration and peace.
people work through things. we fail. forgive. fail. forgive.
we don't give up on people we love because we, too, are imperfect.
people suffer together and grow together. suffering produces growth.
pain has its seasons. growth is never-ending.
love is fluid, not a boxed in idea."

I think the church is the same way. We can't put each other in boxes (either individually or as a group). Because we, as the whole Body of Christ, are organic.... and very connected. Whether you and I agree on how things should be done, the way you are... affects me (and visa versa). If you are a joyful, compassionate, graceful person--your spirit energizes mine. But if you always focus on other's faults, are cynical or self-absorbed--just your presence drains life from mine. We are connected, and we either give life to each other, or drain it. "...there are no neutral exchanges." (brennan manning)

In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, I am also connected to that guy who comes to campus and screams hell and judgement at everyone, because he's not only enraging me, but he's also affecting people's opinion of what Christians are like.

I have been in fellowships before, in the very distant past, where I strongly disagreed with how things were being done and how people were being treated, so we decided to make a stand and "leave that church." And as I thought of those painful times, I realized that even if any one of us feels we can't serve with a specific group, we can never really "leave the church," we are too connected to each other.... we are family. Even if that means I'm your crazy Aunt Mertle who laughs obnoxiously, smokes cigars, and annoys the hell out of you. So I decided... I will never say, "I'm leaving this church" or "that church" or "the church." i can't. its a part of me. you're a part of me.

Then I was listening to my all-time favorite teacher the other day (Oct 22, Week 404... you gotta listen to it). And not only did he have some amazing insight into a story I've heard a million times before, but the things he said were in totally harmony with these ideas I was already chewing on. I especially loved his emphasis on forgiveness... and how the root of the Hebrew word for forgiveness is the same as the root for "to dance."

How beautiful is that?

Then... ironically enough, I went to read Joshua's blog tonight and he has a call out for everyone to send him photos of themselves holding up a sign that says "I am the church." So if you get a chance, send him a pic this weekend. I loved this because when he posted the community photo project last week, he said "we are all a part of this big family who is simply trying to progress and move in this kingdom in which we live... be sure and check out the sites of your family members." ... family members..... 40 people from all over the world, that I have never met... and yet it really did feel like we were family...