Finding Truth
I was talking to a friend the other day who asked why there has been a long silence in this space, and I mentioned that I had actually found some answers. They responded that I should talk about them here. So this is for you, my friend (and anyone else who is asking, wrestling, and seeking).
I have to preface this by saying that I think its a good thing to question your belief system. It's not comfortable ... but it does make you really examine everything to see if it's really true (instead of just accepting it because that is what you've been taught your whole life). And after having my worldview shaken down to nothing, and taking a couple years to wrestle through truth, here are the ideas that I have found to be solid:
1. The universe is too brilliantly and beautifully designed for it to have come together randomly. Isn't this something we know in our gut as creatives ourselves. Whether you are a graphic designer, writer, engineering, artist or builder, the elements and materials we use don't just randomly create something all by themselves. It takes intelligent, thoughtful design to create something beautiful and useful. So doesn't that concept scale up? Especially when we are talking about the design of complex life forms? Plus, the scientific evidence overwhelmingly confirms that the universe exploded into being out of nothing. Either someone created something out of nothing, or no one created something out of nothing and sheer randomness just happened to create galaxies and species (all of which are brilliantly engineered and beautifully designed). In all honesty, it seems like the later requires more faith.
2. So who was He, really? After doing a lot of research on the person of Christ, I've realized that the guy made some huge claims (specifically that he was God). They were so huge that I can't just say "he was a good teacher." He was either self-deluded, crazy.... or he was who he said he was. And it seems to me that the truth of who he actually was hinges on one event.... the resurrection. Did that really happen? Because if it did, then He was God. The one idea that convinced me that the resurrection actually happened came from a strange place.... Watergate. If you're too young to remember that event, basically a dozen men who were loyal to their leader (President Nixon) decided to band together and cover-up the truth that they were the ones who paid 5 guys to break into the Democratic Party's Headquarters and set up illegal wiretapping. It only took 2 weeks for one of the guys to break down and tell the authorities the truth ( to "save his own skin") even though that only meant prison... not death. So if there is something about human nature that will choose self-preservation over loyalty to another person, what about the 12 disciples who swore 'til their dying day that they had seen (talked to and touched) Jesus after he died? All of them had the same story, and stayed true to that account even when it meant they were going to have to die for it. If it wasn't actually true, I'm sure they would have broke down to "save their own skin"... at least one of them.
3. Beautiful. So if Jesus really did rise from the dead, he was probably also right about the other things he talked about. I've especially fallen in love with the relationship that seems to exist between the Trinity--there is such a deep love and respect happening between them. And I love the way Christ interacted with people--being attentive to those the current culture overlooked (women, children, lepers, etc.) and standing up to the religious institution that was distorting truth for the sake of men's egos, power and greed. There is something about him (especially when you go back to original texts) that is really beautiful.
4. The only way? Although there was one thing that Jesus said that took me a long time to accept... that "no one comes to the Father except through Him." Christians have used this statement over the last two thousand years to say they were the only ones that are right (as well as say everyone else is going to hell). The way some people have held on to that thought while simultaneously committing hate crimes against other human beings makes me want to throw up (the crusades, manifest destiny and the native americans, racism, etc.). Even today, I know people who call themselves "christians" and are also judgmental, unkind, and even somewhat-racist. It doesn't make sense to me that they are in better standing than some of my other friends (who happen to be Hindu, homosexual, agnostic, etc.) but are also deeply respectful, kind and loving to everyone around them. It just doesn't synch up. But I finally found some resolution in the thought that we probably don't really understand what that means, especially when He also said that eventually "all things will be reconciled to Christ" (1 Col. 1:19-20) and I doubt we know what that is going to end up looking like... plus...
5. Non of us can judge. We don't have the full understanding, capacity, or right. It's not our place. Even though we all love to sit in the judges' seat (whether its micro-judgements we make while "people-watching" at the mall, or watching shows where we get to vote for the best talent, or in the daily conversation we have about the people around us) judging makes us feel important. And its not just the "religious" people of the world. We all love to judge (the most judgmental person I know is a staunch atheist). I actually think it goes all the way back to when we made the decision to choose the fruit of the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil"... we wanted to 'be like God" and judge what was good and evil. We wanted to judge. And I was one of the worst – self-righteous and judgmental to the core. Which is also why I can say there is so much freedom that comes with accepting the fact that its "not our place" and shift into a place of non-judgement. Even changing the micro-judgements I used to make while people-watching, into micro-blessings/prayers radically changes the way the world looks. So a huge thank you to the people in my life who have modeled this for me (my sister and brutha!). This also leads me to another huge issue I've wrestled with....
6. Ok to be gay? Yes, I know there are a couple passages in the old testament and new testament letters that mention homosexuality (whose interpretations can actually be debated), but I choose to take the same position that Jesus did. And he said absolutely nothing about it. But He did say a lot about loving the people around us ... (There's a lot more to say about this, but it would be better in a face to face conversation).
7. Staying open. This has actually been one of the biggest epiphanies for me in this season, realizing that throughout our history, whenever someone attains greater understanding of a concept its really hard for people to be open to a new idea (especially when it conflicts with the paradigm they have built their worldview on). This happens not only in the religious communities, but in the scientific communities as well (the discoveries of Galileo, Copernicus, Einstein, etc.). Even the ancient Jews who had studied the Torah for hundreds of years, waiting for the Messiah, missed Him because they had a certain image in their head of what he was going to look like (a physical King who would rule on earth). It's just a good reminder for me to stay humble and open to whatever the truth may look like....
Plus, I love embracing the idea of the "Great Mystery" ...that none of us have it all figured out. But we get the chance to experience the wonder of life...
So those are the foundations that I'm building on now. I don't know where you are at in working out your own belief system, but I hope my own transparency helps you a little (it was a hard decision to make ... to talk about such personal things here). But I love the idea that we are all on the journey together. I didn't come to these conclusions by myself (each one represents lots of conversations, reading of others' thoughts, and experiencing the love and truth in the people around me).
We need each other. And that in itself, I believe is by design.... and beautiful.
I have to preface this by saying that I think its a good thing to question your belief system. It's not comfortable ... but it does make you really examine everything to see if it's really true (instead of just accepting it because that is what you've been taught your whole life). And after having my worldview shaken down to nothing, and taking a couple years to wrestle through truth, here are the ideas that I have found to be solid:
1. The universe is too brilliantly and beautifully designed for it to have come together randomly. Isn't this something we know in our gut as creatives ourselves. Whether you are a graphic designer, writer, engineering, artist or builder, the elements and materials we use don't just randomly create something all by themselves. It takes intelligent, thoughtful design to create something beautiful and useful. So doesn't that concept scale up? Especially when we are talking about the design of complex life forms? Plus, the scientific evidence overwhelmingly confirms that the universe exploded into being out of nothing. Either someone created something out of nothing, or no one created something out of nothing and sheer randomness just happened to create galaxies and species (all of which are brilliantly engineered and beautifully designed). In all honesty, it seems like the later requires more faith.
2. So who was He, really? After doing a lot of research on the person of Christ, I've realized that the guy made some huge claims (specifically that he was God). They were so huge that I can't just say "he was a good teacher." He was either self-deluded, crazy.... or he was who he said he was. And it seems to me that the truth of who he actually was hinges on one event.... the resurrection. Did that really happen? Because if it did, then He was God. The one idea that convinced me that the resurrection actually happened came from a strange place.... Watergate. If you're too young to remember that event, basically a dozen men who were loyal to their leader (President Nixon) decided to band together and cover-up the truth that they were the ones who paid 5 guys to break into the Democratic Party's Headquarters and set up illegal wiretapping. It only took 2 weeks for one of the guys to break down and tell the authorities the truth ( to "save his own skin") even though that only meant prison... not death. So if there is something about human nature that will choose self-preservation over loyalty to another person, what about the 12 disciples who swore 'til their dying day that they had seen (talked to and touched) Jesus after he died? All of them had the same story, and stayed true to that account even when it meant they were going to have to die for it. If it wasn't actually true, I'm sure they would have broke down to "save their own skin"... at least one of them.
3. Beautiful. So if Jesus really did rise from the dead, he was probably also right about the other things he talked about. I've especially fallen in love with the relationship that seems to exist between the Trinity--there is such a deep love and respect happening between them. And I love the way Christ interacted with people--being attentive to those the current culture overlooked (women, children, lepers, etc.) and standing up to the religious institution that was distorting truth for the sake of men's egos, power and greed. There is something about him (especially when you go back to original texts) that is really beautiful.
4. The only way? Although there was one thing that Jesus said that took me a long time to accept... that "no one comes to the Father except through Him." Christians have used this statement over the last two thousand years to say they were the only ones that are right (as well as say everyone else is going to hell). The way some people have held on to that thought while simultaneously committing hate crimes against other human beings makes me want to throw up (the crusades, manifest destiny and the native americans, racism, etc.). Even today, I know people who call themselves "christians" and are also judgmental, unkind, and even somewhat-racist. It doesn't make sense to me that they are in better standing than some of my other friends (who happen to be Hindu, homosexual, agnostic, etc.) but are also deeply respectful, kind and loving to everyone around them. It just doesn't synch up. But I finally found some resolution in the thought that we probably don't really understand what that means, especially when He also said that eventually "all things will be reconciled to Christ" (1 Col. 1:19-20) and I doubt we know what that is going to end up looking like... plus...
5. Non of us can judge. We don't have the full understanding, capacity, or right. It's not our place. Even though we all love to sit in the judges' seat (whether its micro-judgements we make while "people-watching" at the mall, or watching shows where we get to vote for the best talent, or in the daily conversation we have about the people around us) judging makes us feel important. And its not just the "religious" people of the world. We all love to judge (the most judgmental person I know is a staunch atheist). I actually think it goes all the way back to when we made the decision to choose the fruit of the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil"... we wanted to 'be like God" and judge what was good and evil. We wanted to judge. And I was one of the worst – self-righteous and judgmental to the core. Which is also why I can say there is so much freedom that comes with accepting the fact that its "not our place" and shift into a place of non-judgement. Even changing the micro-judgements I used to make while people-watching, into micro-blessings/prayers radically changes the way the world looks. So a huge thank you to the people in my life who have modeled this for me (my sister and brutha!). This also leads me to another huge issue I've wrestled with....
6. Ok to be gay? Yes, I know there are a couple passages in the old testament and new testament letters that mention homosexuality (whose interpretations can actually be debated), but I choose to take the same position that Jesus did. And he said absolutely nothing about it. But He did say a lot about loving the people around us ... (There's a lot more to say about this, but it would be better in a face to face conversation).
7. Staying open. This has actually been one of the biggest epiphanies for me in this season, realizing that throughout our history, whenever someone attains greater understanding of a concept its really hard for people to be open to a new idea (especially when it conflicts with the paradigm they have built their worldview on). This happens not only in the religious communities, but in the scientific communities as well (the discoveries of Galileo, Copernicus, Einstein, etc.). Even the ancient Jews who had studied the Torah for hundreds of years, waiting for the Messiah, missed Him because they had a certain image in their head of what he was going to look like (a physical King who would rule on earth). It's just a good reminder for me to stay humble and open to whatever the truth may look like....
Plus, I love embracing the idea of the "Great Mystery" ...that none of us have it all figured out. But we get the chance to experience the wonder of life...
So those are the foundations that I'm building on now. I don't know where you are at in working out your own belief system, but I hope my own transparency helps you a little (it was a hard decision to make ... to talk about such personal things here). But I love the idea that we are all on the journey together. I didn't come to these conclusions by myself (each one represents lots of conversations, reading of others' thoughts, and experiencing the love and truth in the people around me).
We need each other. And that in itself, I believe is by design.... and beautiful.
posted by cindi at 4:57 PM
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